Today was so exhausted of nothing. All my plan was cancelled due to myself, I slept late yesterday, around 3 am I remembered and woke up at 10. You know today in my gym has a special yoga class, they start at 8 until 11 and the time I woke up it was the last session of yoga class in Saturday so no class anymore since the room that usually being used for the evening yoga class would be changed to another schedule. The chain of laziness has not over yet, I felt sleepy and my biggest mistake is not to grab something to eat or cold bath so I got lazy and slept for one more hour, I wake up again and the chain not yet finished, I supposed to go outside and do something productive or socialize with others who has finished with the yoga class and instead of that, I just open my laptop and start the endless articles reading until I starve myself and eat any food left on table, bring it to my room and continue my laziness.
I got bored in the afternoon and continue to play games on my phone, until family dinner. I was so unproductive day for me and I regret it, one day already gone and I hope after dinner I made an appointment with my friends, wish that it could lift my mood again but you know what, I felt my energy level was dropped down, I have no mood to start any interesting topic in this week and I became the quietest person again in the circle. So if I could sum my week, today is the worst day in this week. I supposed to study IELTS or doing a research on Canada, job searching, dig deeper the information about yoga, find new communities which I have delayed since two weeks ago, that I want to get the new friend that is productive and positive.
Look back on my yesterday, was more productive than today, starting with yoga and appointment with dentist, chatting to new social yoga group that are going to have an event in the middle of April, talking about the charity opportunity by giving a writing, and an unexpected guest whom I had a crush on her for a long time, she rarely take yoga class and today I was lucky to see her face again. I might date her someday but I take more than I have right now so I am hoping for the best. Yesterday I have a nice talk with my yoga teacher that the good and bad thing happened in my yoga community. The good thing is everyone grew so fast, faster than another member in term of physical change, the technique of Asanas and rhythm of breath, openness, and challenge each other with the positive competition. I love to see myself grow with them and the sad part is our circle consist of yoga enthusiast with the different working background, some of us are decided to take yoga more serious than ever, it means that they will start to get a teacher training in an upcoming month. Around half of us are taking the training and some of us already consider to teach the student as their freelance or career. The sad point is our relation will get less intense in term of practice together, especially if they found another circle that is near or better. I really don't want to talk about this but this makes me a bit sad.
I had many circles before them, starting from middle school circle which already lost contact due to different hobbies and lifestyle, football circle has an internal conflict with one person, church circle also lost contact with the same situation as mid school, I never fit and fully accepted in my college circle, in my workplace all of them already got married and settled, they also have their own circle and the only circle that satisfies my social need and to share my personal feeling only in this circle. My mistake has I let this feeling enter my heart too deep so once it changed, it affect my feeling. I was supposed to be happy with them, they have their own right to choose their life and we still have a time, sometimes to reunite and practice together but this is a bit hard for me, to find another circle that could make me accepted again. I wish the best for them and I am starting to find another circle from church and contribute something to church is a beautiful thing to do, I personally have time for that and I don't mind to get a bit busy for doing something wonderful.
I am happy to know that today is the day twenty I wrote on this blog, to know a person like me who mostly give up in three days, this was my achievement and I hope I could continue writing until next month. See you in the next writing.
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